Honestly, I keep my feelings to myself. I just save it in my heart. But when I do it for a long period, it can be a revenge or that feeling of hatred will come and it is not good or healthy. So I write it in my diary. But I am tired of writing and I know no one would ever or can read my diary..... that is why I post in a blog, hoping that someone could read them so they would understand that I am hurt and suffering. I had no intention to let people read them or even know about them but I can actually for a second to feel like someone do care about me by reading my blog eventhough no one would read it actually.
But I know some people would think like I am purposely telling everybody my problem so someone could give me attention.. Like I want sympathy lah kononnya. But no! And to avoid that, what do I do? I go back to my diary, sometimes if I think it is okay or I think before I write. But that would not be enough so I would just keep it to myself . But that would pain me a lot. Even if I try to tell others, the wouldn't care or they might not be understanding or they can't even keep it or like you know when people take it the wrong way etc.
So I take my chance to tell my close friends, like aiman, farah or anyone lah yang i rapat since a kid. But they jarang jarang ada on facebook and it is hard to contact them, dahlah different school and etc. And if I tell my parents, they might not listen because they are busy or maybe because they hate me or they would say blapdidadipdablablabla sort of rubbish trying to make me feel like I am stupid, which I am but that is not how you calm someone down.
So then where do I tell my feelings which I need to make them burst out? I keep it to myself again. You just can't make it go away people. It would still haunt you. Even at least you can forget it but dude, I've tried and people who forgets the past are condemned to repeat it. So don't forget. Let it be stucked in your heart. Just forget what hurt you but never what it taught you but if you don't remember what hurt you you might won't remember what it taught you right? So what you need here is PEACE. Your inner peace. You are strong and tough yes! But you do not have inner peace kan? So how?
Yes! Pray. Return to God. Because I am a Muslim, I will say, return to Allah. Only He can give you inner peace. Return to Allah sayang. Perbanyakkanlah ibadah..... Banyakkanlah berkumat-kamit dengan menyebut nama Nya dan Baginda Rasulullah SAW. Allah misses your prayers.. I bet the angels too. Doa seorang mukmin! Ya :)
Now if you have a problem, sit down if you are standing or lie down if you are sitting down. But don't sleep. But think... Everyone here can actually solve their problems but they do not know because they don't think peacefully. BERTAFAKUR. yes. In a calm and peaceful condition, just you, the wind and Allah. My dear friends, I am sure peace will come to your spirit. Even if your life is tough and hard, but your soul will be my bloomer and peaceful. In shaa Allah. When you're sad, la tahzan. Allah is there for you , He is always there for you...... But only you who didn't go and see or talk to HIM.
Akulu kauli haza waastaghfirullahal'azim li walakum walisa iril muslimin walmuslimat walmukminin wal mukminat.Wassalamualaikumwarrahmatullahiwabarakatuh.
#Ya ALLAH thank you for YOUR GUIDANCE. :')